Update on Wellbeing, Part 2

Would it be okay if I started again?
back to the second layer of slightly deeper pink that I feel is covering my body.

I am pretty words put together that don't make sense.
I am silently walking with my head down, trying to stay out of the way.
I am sorry, that I am irritable, because I am wounded, because I have been struck.

I am heavy eyes
I am block
I am black


but simultaneously

I am hungry
I am thirsty
I am eager
I am thrilled

but i just..

can't...

...move.

There is too much weight. everywhere.

Update on Wellbeing

I tried to comfort myself yesterday by suggesting that the distinct scent of hotdogs was perhaps the residual scent of rowan, who may or may not have burped turkey chili in my general vicinity. It's plausible, right?

I am feeling like every centimeter of my skin has had the first layer of skin peeled off. Like, that deeper pink colored skin after you've accidentally peeled off live skin, is everywhere. Does that make sense? I'm so inarticulate in this moment. I hate that I chose the word centimeter. I chose centimeter because inch is cliche and millimeter smells funny, and reminds me of this strangely green tape measure I currently have tucked away in a drawer in a black credenza in my studio that should be paradise, but currently is war.

I think I misspelled credenza. I think I misspelled alot. I think I misspelled misspelled. Yikes.

Good God I'm so irritable lately. What is it, what is it!
I am openly admitting to being cranky and I'm trying to sort it all out.

Things I've noticed/Symptoms

I am increasingly sensitive to smells.
(Or at least, for sake of being super clear, I am seeing colors, hearing sounds or feeling textures that are making me so sure I am smelling certain scents. This could be a clue that I am hypersensitive at this moment to my synesthesia, which could mean I am feeling overloaded and overstimulated, which could end in red hot flowing lava billowing up and over and out of me.)

I will keep you posted.