Rotten

I just wrote a great post, and came to a really great conclusion. It was all about healing, and how sometimes "moving on" isn't what your mean't to do or want to do, and really sometimes we just want to go backwards.

Unfortunately, going backwards isn't an option, and going forwards is something that can't be helped. So sometimes we need to take a snapshot, and just keep that memory forever.

It was a great post, really. Quite strong, and the colors were all right.

Except I didn't agree with myself. I don't want to take a snapshot of the 15 years I spent slaving on a dance floor, I want to keep going. I could show you the spots of blood on the floor that belong to me. My heart beats to the music. I had beat the odds already. I'm not ready to heal, I don't want to heal, I can't heal. So when going back isn't an option, and moving forward is inevitable, and a snapshot is just a cheap, two-dimensional version of the love of your life, what happens then?

I died. And I don't know how to come back to life. And I don't really know if I want to.